mind over matter

School has been murdering me slowly the last week, but I think it has decided to cut back on torture for now. OChem test was on Tuesday, which I hope with all my heart that I didn't do as badly as I think that I did. I turned in my DiffEQ test today, in which I place all my hope for earning a B in the class. I hate DiffEQ. If I knew that it would be this hard, I would have seriously reconsidered minoring in math. Maybe I'll drop it. Or maybe I'll just accept the sucky grade that I get this sem and hope it gets better in Lin Alg. Bleh.

All I have to work on (haha, that's funny, because it's actually a poop-load of work) is my Sophomore Honors Portfolio. I'm creating cut-out collages for the dividers, but I seriously wonder whether it's going to look cool enough for submission. Maybe art isn't my strong point.

And I have to revise both my Brain paper and the Mayo lab experience paper, as well as write translations for my two Spanish compositions.

Let's go on to something else besides depressing facts about school... I've been having strange thoughts lately, that perhaps where I am in life isn't where I should be. It's not like anything has changed, though. The people around me, the events that fill my day... is it just that I'm prone to being restless? Maybe it's the pressure that I put on myself with HPSO stuff... I mean, if I can't get my own friends to participate in something that I care about, then maybe I should give up. Or maybe I'm unable to communicate how much these things mean to me. Or maybe people just don't care. And, truth be told, that's probably the hardest thing to accept. When one of my close friends tells me that he hates HPSO, it's almost as if I should take it personally. Why does HPSO suck? It's the responsibility of the exec team to make sure that it doesn't, so it obviously is your fault, Jessica. (I know it's not, but I still can't get past thinking about it excessively throughout the day). And why should I care if people don't like HPSO? Because then it feels like they're discounting my accomplishments and my commitments as if I'm doing nothing.

I need to sleep and get away from people who complain. I get enough of that from myself.

in the biz

So, here I am, sitting in a hotel room. Jordan is cranky. Faith is rockin' out to her music, which is pretty cool. Tyler, I think, is just trying to adjust to our weirdness ;) So life in general is pretty good.

Jordan almost crashed my car into some older gentleman as we were pulling out of a gas station. At least, I'm pretty sure that we didn't hit the other car. It was a really dusty car (or "vehicle", if you rather) and there wasn't any sign of the dustiness of his car being disturbed, therefore that black mark on the front of the car was probably there long before. Because I've certainly never driven a car into anything... oh crap, except for that one time I accelerated instead of braked coming into the garage after gymnastics practice junior year... that screws up my perfect record... But at least I've never hurt my dear Corolla yet. *tear*

So, you should all check out the movie "Waiting...". It's the most disgusting, disturbing, yet absolutely hilarious film that I've seen in a long time. Definitely ranks up there with "40 Year Old Virgin". Maybe some day I'll find a good serious movie in the theatres, but so far, the sexually-perverted-college-aimed-absolutely ridiculous movies are winning out. :)

Karate tourney tomorrow morning!! I've decided to compete in katas and sparring... for my kata, I picked Pinan Yodan, although Martha expressly told us that we shouldn't compete with katas that we've just learned. I think I know it fairly well, though... at least, enough to have fun with it. I just need to work on the no-laughing and no-pursing-my-lips-to-keep-from-laughing thing. Especially in sparring. I know that I'm going to get a punch to the boob or something tomorrow and just break out giggling. Sigh. Some things can't be helped.

Oh yes, and I don't have any plain underwear for the tourney, so I really hope my gi stays in place and doesn't show off my zebra-stripe-bordered panties. Ummm... yeah. :)

I'll be back on Saturday night, but until then... Be safe, be smart... and have a good weekend.

a Lost obsession

The weekend was way too short. And it took me an inordinate amount of time to type that last sentence. Yeah, just imagine me speaking. Bleh.

Last week on "Lost," we learn more about Locke's weird past and how he can't keep himself from parking in his long-lost dad's driveway and reveling in how his dad renewed contact just to get him to give him one of his kidneys... and then disappeared out of Locke's life again. A friendship and potential for a serious romantic relationship presents itself to Locke during this time, but after she discovers his obsession, she poses him the question of whether or not he would take a "leap of faith" towards a relationship with her and forget the past...

However, what's to say that leaps of faith have a definite direction? Isn't it a leap of faith to hold to the same situation as before, hoping that there is a chance for renewal and restoration in that which you believe?

I'm tired but satisfied right now, I guess. The next few weeks I'll be reexamining life and what it holds for me... I'm excited :)

P.S. If you love irons with a passion, you should definitely check out the new link to Sean Klitzner's Daily Fix... and make sure to watch the episode "Folgers." It's possibly the most amazing thing I've ever seen. ;)

the white stuff

So, I look out my window today, and what do I see?

That's right, my friends. It snowed last night in Grand Forks.

But see, that's not even the worst of it. Other places around the state already had 5-6" accumulation, such as Grafton and Mandan. Check this out for the latest weather ... (I think it'll work...) http://www.crh.noaa.gov/radar/latest/DS.p19r0/si.kmvx.shtml

Time to go color some pictures in my anatomy coloring book. And then revise a Spanish paper that I don't even have peer critiques for. Sweet.

organic stinks... literally

Just came back from lab, and I stink like acetone and 1,4-dimethoxybenzene... yesss... I do have to be thankful that I wasn't at the hood when my lab partners accidentally sprayed concentrated HCl all over, especially since I was wearing my one article of Hollister clothing at the time.

Family weekend, alas, is over. I really enjoyed having my parents come up, regardless of how stressed I might have been trying to get things prepared (like, uh, doing laundry, making my bed, cleaning the room, getting football tickets, etc. etc.). I know some kids think that the best part of college is getting away from their parents... which may be true, in some situations... but really, we need our parents. (Got that, Steph?)

Mmmm... I'm looking at the tag from those roasted bavarian almonds we had at the football game... soooo good...

Okay, so I promised an update on the Mpls trip. Leaving GF was a little crazy, considering I was rushing around last minute trying to print off maps (which it turns out that we didn't even need... grr...). The ride up was pretty uneventful, considering I spent the whole time trying to tune out Heidi and another girl's conversation on D&D, cats, their own teen angst, and the color purple. Yeah.

Caspian Bistro was amazing!! After an entire month of bland North Dakotan cuisine, I was fully ready for an overdose of sodium, Greek olives, hummus, carvings from a compressed meat wheel (a.k.a. gyro meat), and (how could I forget??) baklava. Uhhh... so wonderful...

The Guthrie was also very cool, although I could barely stay awake for the show (haha, and that happened last year on the mpls trip, too). Sunday morning we got a chance to return to walk around the Walker Art Institute, which was also really interesting... Like canvases of the imprints of naked female bodies covered in blue paint... huge crystal chandeliers netted and suspended by thin wire strings (which we took pictures of while we laid beneath them... so awesome)... an entire exhibit on the self-portraits of this one guy throughout his life... Interesting stuff.

But of course, we must cover nightlife in Minneapolis as well ;) Neer gave me a call earlier on Saturday to let me know we were invited to come over to his apartment... but what he didn't know was that I'd be bringing about 15 people he didn't know ... :) (Umm... not to mention the fact that I barely knew a lot of the people who came along with me)... And... all the electricity we had running to the music system ended up killing the circuit breaker for a good half hour... I was really worried at first, because I thought the police had turned off our power so we would quiet down, but apparently that's impossible. Silly "small-town girl" me.

Anyways. It was a fantastic night, and when Neer's roomies finally kicked us out at 1:30, we headed over to BK for some french-fried goodness. Yeah, that's right; things are actually open past 11 there!! Whoa!!

On the way back, our van had the chance to hit up the Albertville Outlets... ahh, the greatness of Aeropostale sales... I got a pair of long shorts for $3, two sweaters for $6.50 each, and a thermal henley set for $13... (sigh)

And since Faith and I got back late from shopping, everyone forced me to sit in the back seat, squished in with 3 other people... silver lining? Yeah, I didn't have to listen to weird convos for the remaining 4 hours back. Cons? A couple of bruised ribs, a lump on my head from falling asleep repeatedly against the window, and slight asfixiation due to insufficient oxygen... but heck, think of the alternatives... ;)