heartbreaker

May this post be a tribute to the lost, the lonely, and the disillusioned. Amen.

I have not been a very great person the last... well, year and-a-half or so. I've set my priorities on becoming well-liked instead of truly liking myself. I've mistakenly convinced people that I am what they need in life, and then upon finding that out, tried to scare them away so I wouldn't have that responsibility. I pretend to be charming, and when I know that someone likes me back, I either toy with that power or get scared and avoid them.

Boys aren't the trouble. I am. And if I could just find out where I go wrong, maybe life wouldn't suck. So far that's been a failed venture, though.

What do I want out of the opposite sex? Friendship? Yes. Knowing that they care about me? That's probably true. But when that feeling becomes intermingled with the knowledge that this could turn into a relationship that I'm not ready for, everything becomes tainted.

Time to watch Labyrinth with David Bowie and Muppets. And to think about what my life is becoming.